NBA player carrying his weekly pay.
These are difficult and desperate times for the hundreds of basketball players employed by the NBA. Unable to reach an agreement on how to split the billions of dollars of revenue with team owners, the NBA has seized it's operations. This leaves NBA players without a paycheck, and with their financial future clouded by the unknown.
The NBA Player Fund is a non-profit charity that has been created to provide financial assistance to NBA players in these troublesome times. NBA players have grown accustom to their lavish lifestyles and need money from us low and middle class workers to sustain it.
We must all make financial sacrifices to ensure that these players have enough money to buy as many Rolexes, Yachts, and Ferraris, as they could possibly want. So do your part and donate all the money you can to the NBA Players Fund.
The NBA Player Fund is a non-profit charity that has been created to provide financial assistance to NBA players in these troublesome times. NBA players have grown accustom to their lavish lifestyles and need money from us low and middle class workers to sustain it.
We must all make financial sacrifices to ensure that these players have enough money to buy as many Rolexes, Yachts, and Ferraris, as they could possibly want. So do your part and donate all the money you can to the NBA Players Fund.
The NBA Player Fund has created a reward incentive to show their appreciation to those who donate money to them. It is a three level system that is based upon how much money you contribute. The more money you contibute, the higher level you attain, and the greater the reward. The NBA Players believe these rewards are very generous, perhaps too generous, so aside from the money you donated, they also demand your eternal thanks.
Level 1 requires donations of ($10,000 - $25,000) to the NBA Players Fund.
Because the dollar amount is too small for NBA Players to appreciate,
the donater can expect to receive nothing.
Because the dollar amount is too small for NBA Players to appreciate,
the donater can expect to receive nothing.
Level 2 requires donations of ($25,001 - $100,000) to the NBA Players Fund.
The donator may receive a pre-printed thank you card, and also a small collection of NBA Players rap albums. (Kobe Bryant, Ron Artest, and Shaquille Oneal).
The donator may receive a pre-printed thank you card, and also a small collection of NBA Players rap albums. (Kobe Bryant, Ron Artest, and Shaquille Oneal).
You get these three horrible rap albums And if he ever records one, you will get this guys rap album to!
Level 3 requires donations of ($100,001 +) to the NBA Players Fund.
These donaters are rewarded with a Javaris Crittenton jersey. (Who was recently arrested for murdering a 21 year old woman). * If convicted he may be suspended by the NBA for three games for violating their code of conduct policy *).
These donaters are rewarded with a Javaris Crittenton jersey. (Who was recently arrested for murdering a 21 year old woman). * If convicted he may be suspended by the NBA for three games for violating their code of conduct policy *).
Javaris is better at shooting guns then basketballs.
What your donations have done for NBA players desperate in need.
Eddy Curry's Diamond encrusted toilet
Thanks to the donations provided by the NBA Players Fund, Eddy Curry was able to purchase a much needed fixture for his home, a diamond encusted toilet. With the NBA lockout, Eddy Curry was worried that he would have to sit his royal ass on porcelain like us peasants do. Now, he has that much needed piece of mind knowing his bowel movements will get the respect they deserve.
Desagana Diop's custom rims for his ATV's.
Desagana was often worried about being humiliated and embarrassed if guests at his house found out that none of his 34 ATVs had custom rims. Thanks to a small $340,000 donation from the NBA Players Fund, Desagana was able to purchase the custom rims and restore his confidence.
Jermaine O'Neal's Gold Mercedes.
Jermaine O'neal is just a regular guy like everyone else. Like all regular guys, Jermaine has always wanted to own a Mercedes made with fourty-thousand real gold plates. His contract of 7 years for 126.6 million was just not enough for this purchase to make financial sense. Fortuantely, the NBA Player Fund came through and purchased this Mercedes for him in his time of need.
Jermaine loves his gold car, but is still hopeful that people will raise enough money so he can also add a platinum plated luxury car to his collection.
Child support for NBA Players illegitimate children.
There are around 450 professional NBA players, who are responsible for an estimated 2,750 illegitimate children. Thanks to your donations, these children will each recieve some financial support so their fathers can concentrate on more important things like playing basketball and pro-creation.
I hope you enjoyed this article. There is a companion piece to this article titled
'What are NBA Players doing during the lockout?' To check it out simply click --> HERE <--
'What are NBA Players doing during the lockout?' To check it out simply click --> HERE <--
Click on the Facebook icon to become a fan of this site on Facebook.
As a fan, you will be the first to know when new articles become available.
You can also click the FACEBOOK, or TWITTER LIKE box below to share this article with your Facebook or Twitter friends, or simply post a comment below. I appreciate all feedback!! Thank you!
Click to read more funny stuff.
RSS Feed
