Check out videos, and pictures of some REAL toys that should have never gotten in the hands of children.
Thanks to my girlfriend Ashley! If it was not for her I would have not wrote a article about bad toy ideas. This article has videos and my commentary about REAL toys that were introduced to innocent children with ignorant parents. A picture section of REAL toys follows the video section and it is equally shocking.
I did research on all the toys in this article and can attest to the fact that they are all REAL. (with one possible exception - the Superman blow-up doll may be fake). You can thank me later for giving you such wonderful Christmas ideas!
I did research on all the toys in this article and can attest to the fact that they are all REAL. (with one possible exception - the Superman blow-up doll may be fake). You can thank me later for giving you such wonderful Christmas ideas!
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My girlfriend, Ashley, just told me about a commercial she watched on the television. It was a commercial for a game in which you feed a toy dog and then eagerly watch as he shits out a play dough like substance. I did not believe her at first, but after doing some research and eventually seeing the video myself, I can confirm to the fact that this game is real. This game is the inspiration for me to look up other odd toys and create this article on the website.
Buy this game if: You just can not get enough of picking up dog shit around the house and yard.
Edit: We just bought this game from Amazon. (It has yet to arrive). Details and possible videos in the near future.
Buy this game if: You just can not get enough of picking up dog shit around the house and yard.
Edit: We just bought this game from Amazon. (It has yet to arrive). Details and possible videos in the near future.
This is just gross. I am not sure it is even funny, or if it is just gross. The video speaks more than any words I can ever write. This shocking video is an actual commercial with a edited extended part at the end.
Buy this toy if: You are Liberace, MIchael Jackson, or a pedophile with not enough candy to lure in real children.
Buy this toy if: You are Liberace, MIchael Jackson, or a pedophile with not enough candy to lure in real children.
Ever wondered what a party at Ryan Seacrest's house was like? It looks just like the video you viewed above. Many young men getting sprayed in the face with a milky, gooey, substance.
Buy this toy if: You want to encourage your child to become a gay, porn star.
Buy this toy if: You want to encourage your child to become a gay, porn star.
Mr. Bucket is a very creepy, sexually frustrated toy who desperately wants to pop your balls out of his mouth.
Buy this game if: You do not believe that Mr. Bucket is a demon from hell, who will likely posses your child.
Buy this game if: You do not believe that Mr. Bucket is a demon from hell, who will likely posses your child.
Little girls may be made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, but the toys they play with are fucking gross. How much fun could a girl have playing with a doll that pisses in a toilet? Parents- save your money. If you want your girls to play with something that urinates constantly, just have them play with grandma instead.
Buy this doll if: Magic Explosive-Diarrhea baby is sold out.
Buy this doll if: Magic Explosive-Diarrhea baby is sold out.
Tarzan's secret to his ability to swing from trees with the greatest of ease is from the strength of his forearms, developed from years of Tarzan "ripening his banana" (masturbating). Tarzan's stroke is evidence that he no longer needs Jane.
Buy this toy if: you are bored of having your Star Wars guys hump Princess Leia.
Buy this toy if: you are bored of having your Star Wars guys hump Princess Leia.
The Punisher
I actually purchased this toy a long time ago for my son. He owned it for a year before we "discovered" his weapon. While we were playing with a variety of his action figures, the chest cavity of Punisher opened exposing his "missile". There was a immediate, and uncomfortable pause in the room. Although he was between 5 and 7 years old, even he understood that his toy should not have something that resembles a huge, erect penis.
After a minute or so of disbelief, I snatched the toy up, seperating it from his other toys that did not have a penis. I was unsure what I was going to do with it. Around this time period Maxim magazine had a monthly feature titled "Unintentional Porn", and I mailed the Punisher to them believing I had a good chance to win the top prize of $250. Maxim never featured the Punisher in their publication, acknowledged my submission, or worst of all, they never returned the toy to me.
Buy this toy if: You want it to be the centerpiece on some unappreciative, dick-headed, Maxim editor's desk.
Stuff, Hug, and Play Superman
Superman has many superpowers, but you have the opportunity to discover another one of his favorite superpowers when you play with this doll. Stuff, Hug, and Play is an appropriate name for a doll that looks like a sex toy.
Speaking of blow up sex toys - At a birthday party for one of my friends years ago, someone bought him a female blow up doll as a joke, which they took the liberty of inflating. As we all sat around his deck reminiscing of the past while drinking some beers, his young son, maybe 4 years old, came outside with the naked blow up doll. It was a hilarious site to see a child carrying a blow up doll bigger than him. What made it more entertaining was the child's refusal to separate from the naked, blow up doll. He threw a fit if we tried to take the doll from him.
Buy this doll if: You accidentally punctured holes in your overused inflatable sheep.
Superman has many superpowers, but you have the opportunity to discover another one of his favorite superpowers when you play with this doll. Stuff, Hug, and Play is an appropriate name for a doll that looks like a sex toy.
Speaking of blow up sex toys - At a birthday party for one of my friends years ago, someone bought him a female blow up doll as a joke, which they took the liberty of inflating. As we all sat around his deck reminiscing of the past while drinking some beers, his young son, maybe 4 years old, came outside with the naked blow up doll. It was a hilarious site to see a child carrying a blow up doll bigger than him. What made it more entertaining was the child's refusal to separate from the naked, blow up doll. He threw a fit if we tried to take the doll from him.
Buy this doll if: You accidentally punctured holes in your overused inflatable sheep.
Dora Aquapet
Judging by the shape of this toy, Dora the Explorer is apparently wanting to explore new territories.
Buy this toy if: WTF?!? My girlfriend just ordered three of these. I never knew she was a fan of Dora.
Funtime Fuzzy Box
Feel the fuzz! While I enjoy this toy, I prefer my Fuzzy Boxes shaved.
This is the second bad toy on this list that I actually bought for my son. Somehow, I overlooked the unfortunate name of this toy when I originally bought it.
Buy this toy if: You prefer the box you stuff your junk in to be natural.
Two Finger Squirter
I do not have much to add to this. I think the picture and title of the product explain everything clearly enough.
Buy this toy if: One finger is not enough, but three fingers is just too much.
My big book of Pretty Pussies
The misleading title is sure to be a disappointment to many who ordered it. This is one book with pictures of pussies you will not find under a teen's bed, with the pages stuck together.
Buy this book if: You are into bestiality.
E.T. Finger Light
Should they toy description read "Grows when pressed" instead of glows?
How this flesh colored, phallus object made it to the store shelves is one of toy production's greatest mysteries. Even if you get past the fact it strongly resembles a distorted penis, what possible fun could a kid have with a light on the end of a finger?
I can say with much confidence that when I was a child this toy was not on my Christmas wishlist. However, I am not very confident that if was not on my mother's Christmas wishlist.
Buy this if: You want a dildo that glows in the dark.
Bling Teeth
Unlike the other toys featured on this page, there is no sexual innuendos for the Bling Teeth. This toy was chosen as a bad toy because it allows kids to portray themselves as a pimp, thug, or drug dealer. (I hate to use stereotypes but is there really anyone with real bling teeth who is a positive role model?!)
Buy this toy if: Your budget will not allow for the gold plated Glock pistol with hollow-point bullets your kid really wants.
Viewer Subitted Bad Toy Ideas
I have had a lot of feedback regarding bad toys. Some people informed me about other bad toys on the net and I have included some of their awesome suggestions here. Thank you all!
I have had a lot of feedback regarding bad toys. Some people informed me about other bad toys on the net and I have included some of their awesome suggestions here. Thank you all!
Inappropriate Slide Thank you - Ed S.
Harry Potter Vibrating Broomstick Thank you - Roger C.
The picture to the right is an actual advertisement picture for the product. If that image is not bad enough, then take into consideration that this long object that goes in between your legs also vibrates. Now you have a good understanding of why this is such a bad toy idea, and why some teenager girls thought it was the best toy idea ever.
The Broomstick was quickly taken off Amazon, probably because of the customer reviews that were posted. Click on the link to a site named Methodshop.com to see reviews that were saved before Amazon took them down. Click -> HERE <-- to read the real reviews for the Broomstick. They are quite funny.
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