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Planking

8/24/2011

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Planking is the worldwide phenomenon where people lie face down in an unusual or incongruous location.  This article attempts to understand why these idiots find this appealing.



Sometimes pictures are much better than words when describing something.  So before I begin to discuss Planking, check out the photos to help you understand what Planking is.
Click on any picture to see a enlarged image and a caption describing the picture.
 Even animals are not spared from humiliation as people plank on top of them.
Multiple people often plank together as well.  Looking like an ass is better with company.
Still confused about Planking?  Check out this video.

 

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After glancing over the pictures and viewing the video you should now have a better understanding of what the Planking fad is.  Why people Plank, however, is a question that will remain a mystery to people who think rationally.

We can only assume that most Plankers have a history of mental illness, or have had a incident which resulted in head trauma sometime in their life.  For the few Plankers who do not have the luxury of  these excuses, they Plank because they consider it to be fun.  The idea of mimicking a flat piece of wood is entertaining to them and some Plankers are delusional enough to believe it is even funny.
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The origins of Planking are widely disputed, with various assholes trying to claim the responsibility for bringing something into the world that can only be rivaled by Justin Beiber's parents in terms of sheer uselessness.


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Crocodile Dundee reinvents himself as a Planker.
Tom Green, a Canadian comedian (Is there really such a thing?) desperate to regain the D- celebrity status he once had, claims to have invented Planking.  A video of his taken from 1985 actually substantiates his claim. CLICK HERE to see the video.  

Christian Langdon and Gary Clarkson are also often credited with inventing Planking.  They claim to have invented a game called the "laying down game" as young teenagers out of boredom.  What is impressive is not that they may have invented Planking, but that they may be the only teenage boys in the world whose free time was apparently not spent playing video games or masturbating.

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Urinal Planking or is he eating a toilet cake?
I contend that neither Tom Green or those other two guys no one knows invented planking.  I think parents in general are to blame for the creation of Planking.  This is the kind of stupid shit that happens when parents pester their children to go outside and play.  Hey Parents - Suddenly video games do not seem so pointless and stupid anymore, huh?

Another possibility for the origins of Planking can be found on any college campus.  I know that I often involuntarily planked after becoming intoxicated at college parties or bars.  I was even more "extreme" than modern day plankers because I added puke piles and pissing in my pants to my planks.

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This man is either Owling, or about to shit his pants.
Like many fads, Planking has started to evolve into something even more pointless.  The most recent craze is Owling which has people squatting on a precarious perch mimicking a Owl.  I am baffled by how this could be considered entertaining and would like to apologize to all the real owls in the animal kingdom for this offensive portrayal.

Love it or Hate it, Owling and Planking are popular fads that will hopefully go away but may torture us by evolving into something even worse. As to why people Plank, it will continue to be one of society's greatest mysteries. As long as there are idiots in the world, there will be always be people who do stupid shit.



 

Pictures of a few more Plankers.

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To better understand the Planking phenomenon, I will attempt to Plank.  This space is reserved for the first ever pictures of myself in one of my articles.  Check back soon to view the photos! 


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    A Banned CRIBB

    Arcade XBOX360 player, shitty web-site maker, collector of inflatable sheep.

    a banned cribb

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