 Play the hit song Pac Man Fever from 1982 while you read this article. |
New Pac Man game has Pac Man eliminating carbohydrates and sticking with a predominately all meat diet.
Pac man has been a overweight, unhealthy, round ball of shit for 30 years. The older he is getting, the more likely his weight can cause serious health issues. Pac Man's doctors recently told him that if he continues with his obsessive dot and power pellet eating behavior that he will likely wind up with heart disease, breathing difficulty, type 2 diabetes, and ultimately death.
The main problem was the amount of carbohydrates Pac Man was consuming daily. Each of the dots that he would gobble up in a typical game were loaded with carbs. The power pellets contained a much greater amount of carbohydrates and were commonly referred to as carbohydrate bombs. Pac Man was suggested to go on the Atkins Diet, which eliminates most carbohydrates and emphasizes eating lots of meat. The Atkins Diet is incorporated into the newest Pac Man game, Pac Man 2011. In this game Pac Man trades his old unhealthy diet of dots and power pellets for greasy hamburgers, deep fried chicken, and thick steaks. Hopefully Pac Man's new diet will keep him around for another 30 years. |
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 The gameplay of Pac Man 2011 is true to the original. Various meats replace the unhealthy dots and pellets. Go far enough and you can eat the raw cow carcass worth 5000 points!
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What do others think of Pac Man going on the Atkins diet?
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 "Pac Man is my role model". said this nerdy, really fat kid "I wanted to lose weight, and I even considered doing something drastic like going outside to play and exercising. Thanks to Pac Man, I now know eating tons of meat is the answer to a healthy lifestyle!"
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